I'm fine. A lot of the time. I am. But there are those times when I'm not. Rise times where the pain takes over and I just allow it to. Tonight is one of those times.
I guess the only way to really explain it would be to say it feels like I had my arm amputated. And just as it starts to heal the scab is ripped off and scraped down with sandpaper, and then doused with rubbing alcohol, and then set on fire, and the fire put out with a bucket of acid. Yea, that's about how much it hurts.
So, I cry, and scream, and sob, and weep, and mope, and sing your songs as loud as I can, yelling them at the sky. I'm not really sure why. Maybe I think you can hear. Maybe I think God can hear. Maybe I want you and God to hear. I want to tell you how bad it hurts to not have you here. But that's quite the conundrum. Cause if you were here for me to tell this to, I wouldn't feel this way.
The tears take on a mind of their own. Literally they just start and stop when ever they damn well feel like it.
So I suppose, I will make it through this re amputation, I just wish someone would sharpen the knife.
love,
Krissy
